Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Unhappy? Why Wait?! Grab Your Own Happiness!

For my Facebook status today, I was compelled to write this:

I never imagined after having my heart broken last year that it would be mended like this. Never let one person or situation define or destroy your happiness. Create your own!

 

Our burdens are our own
to carry just like
our happiness is our own
to create.

There are quite a few things going on in my world that evoked this thought.  As of late, I have seen a change in the "attitude" of what is my life.  I have great friends and family, I enjoy my job, my business is doing extremely well for it's second month, my health is top notch, I met someone who brightens my day, I feel and look better than ever and I wake up thankful for every moment I get to enjoy it all.  Now before you go rolling your eyes because it seems too good to be true, I have also dealt with a lot of negative (and preposterous) issues in the past three years.  The loss of my father and a few deadbeat friends, two horrible and damaging relationships, financial woes and a life changing situation that changed my view on giving my heart to anyone ever again.  Yeah, it was a mess!  The one thing I learned in these past three years is that we often place our burdens on someone else and get angry because they drop it.  It is our responsibility to carry our issues and decide when to drop said issues.  When I stopped blaming the world for my problems, I realized my own problem: I needed to get off my butt and take charge of what I needed to make me smile again.  I noticed the two main things standing between myself and my happiness included people and situations.  After some prayer and meditation, this is what I realized:


Placing your happiness
in a few baskets
ensures you will
always have SOME
happiness!
 
PEOPLE: will let you down.  They will build you up to let you down.  They will stomp on you once they let you down.  They will leave you hugging the dirt and return to find you when it is least convenient.  Now, I don't believe this about all people, but we are discussing barriers to happiness.  When I was in my last relationship I learned that when you put all your happiness eggs in someone else's basket, you lose it all when they decide to turn the basket over.  Needless to say, I placed all I had into someone who could never carry the weight of my love.  I learned the importance of giving what is deserved and nothing more (at least until I feel like I can give past this point.)  As for friends and family, I have seen the best of the best turn like a doorknob.  When that happened, I learned to appreciate what we shared and acknowledge the warning signs for future reference.  

Motto: Keep your happiness in various secure locations of YOUR choosing.  Don't place all of your happiness in someone else.  It's no guarantee that it will be nurtured the way it should be.


We can't push a button
and change our lives;
We can make a choice
to change our attitude.

SITUATIONS: can shock you, but they can also teach you.  As I mentioned above I decided to take my happiness into my own hands.  That's cool, but life has a way of throwing us situations that we aren't ready for.  My mom would also say that my biggest flaw growing up was getting engulfed by my problems and forgetting that time heals all.  She was definitely right about that one.  No matter what happens to steal our joy, time will bring some solace even if it can't remove the hurt completely.  I chose to turn on my problems instead of letting them consume me.  I also play an active role in how much damage my problems will do in my life.  Trust me, with the right attitude you can do the same thing.

Motto: You can't control what will happen; you can control your  attitude toward the situation.  Don't allow life's downs to make you forget what's good and positive.

I've made a lifelong promise to myself that no matter the position, up or down, I will maintain a certain level of happiness.  I'm bubbly, caring, charismatic and loving!  All these things are a result of this promise.  When I come across a person or a situation that is the exact opposite of my personality, I will learn what I need and not allow it or them to change ME.  I don't know about you, but my happiness carries me through.  So get up and stop pouting about what is wrong and take steps to make it right:

1) Cut lose dead weight in the form of relationships with family, friends or others.
2) Grab a hold of life's problems and decide that they won't control your state of contentment.
3) Take steps to increase your happiness by going to new places, meeting new people and discovering the difference your own attitude can make.
4) Be grateful for all you have and know that your most valuable possessions are what lies inside you.

and the most important...

Don't worry: BE HAPPY!

     

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