Once again, talking with a good friend and we got on the subject of being friends with benefits. This guy wants to be friends with benefits with her, but he can't seem to get over some of the previous girls in his life.
I started thinking...
How can you be a true friend with someone and have to tack on "with benefits"? True unconditional friendship has benefits alone. I know who my TRUE friends are and we don't have a contractual obligation to one another. When you start adding little titles after the word 'friends' then you have conditions on that relationship. When I say conditions, you know what I mean!...
Common Examples of Conditions:
"Oh, we can't hang out tonight cause I got to find out if I still have feelings for _____." (There are no set boundaries so you can't get mad.)
"Why you need to see my phone? I don't ask you all types of questions about who you talk to." (If you were really a friend, there would be no secrets.)
"You gonna come see me this weekend?" (Keep in mind, when you really need this person, can you count on them? Last weekend, chances are their other "friend with benefits" was probably where you will be.)
"I will give you a call later." (Later is when you are wanted, never needed.)
What kind of **** is that?! If you are really friends with someone, there will never be as many issues as your "friend with benefits".
This whole 'friends with benefits' crap is a politically correct way of saying that a person is just on the shelf until you get ready to play with them and then when playtime is over, you put the toy away. There is no stability and usually the lack of communication can cause more drama than necessary from someone who is SUPPOSED to be your "friend".
Don't get me wrong, if you are ok with the situation you are in, go for the gold. However, if you feel that you can't handle this type of semi-relationship, don't fall victim to being an alleged, hypothetical "friend with benefits".
I started thinking...
How can you be a true friend with someone and have to tack on "with benefits"? True unconditional friendship has benefits alone. I know who my TRUE friends are and we don't have a contractual obligation to one another. When you start adding little titles after the word 'friends' then you have conditions on that relationship. When I say conditions, you know what I mean!...
Common Examples of Conditions:
"Oh, we can't hang out tonight cause I got to find out if I still have feelings for _____." (There are no set boundaries so you can't get mad.)
"Why you need to see my phone? I don't ask you all types of questions about who you talk to." (If you were really a friend, there would be no secrets.)
"You gonna come see me this weekend?" (Keep in mind, when you really need this person, can you count on them? Last weekend, chances are their other "friend with benefits" was probably where you will be.)
"I will give you a call later." (Later is when you are wanted, never needed.)
What kind of **** is that?! If you are really friends with someone, there will never be as many issues as your "friend with benefits".
This whole 'friends with benefits' crap is a politically correct way of saying that a person is just on the shelf until you get ready to play with them and then when playtime is over, you put the toy away. There is no stability and usually the lack of communication can cause more drama than necessary from someone who is SUPPOSED to be your "friend".
Don't get me wrong, if you are ok with the situation you are in, go for the gold. However, if you feel that you can't handle this type of semi-relationship, don't fall victim to being an alleged, hypothetical "friend with benefits".
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| It's elementary my dears! Don't fall for the FWB BS! |
2 comments:
The enemy loves to copy cat. he saw how well David explained how amazing an intimate relationship with God is like in Psalm 103. satan is basically doing the exact opposite of that psalm. And only by deception!
You have and always will be the best! I totally agree. The deception aspect is what really gets me. When you don't have a relationship with God or study his word enough to know better, these things happen over and over again! People wonder why they can't be blessed...
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