Have A Holiday Heart Year-Round!

Hands down, Christmas is my favorite time of year!  The chestnuts are roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost is nipping at my nose, I am enjoying the sights and sounds of Christmas and spreading cheer wherever I go!  While out in the hustle and bustle that is Christmas Eve, I noticed some things.  People are a little bit nicer, the streets are a little bit brighter, children are happier and celebrations are plentiful.  It is an absolutely beautiful time of the year!  Kind of sad to think that for all the other days, people forget how the joy of the holidays can be spread all throughout the year.

Exactly Why Are We Toasting Scumbags and Jerk-Offs?!

Let's stop toasting nonsense!

Ahh, good old Kanye West!  Leave it to him to turn toasting into something negative!  In his song Runaway, he is crooning about the men who do women wrong and toasting them for it.  I feel that the jerks and scumbags are getting a little too much credit for nothing.  Being a real/good man has lost its appeal lately and it’s driving me insane!   According to many women out there, there are no good men to be found; they are all either taken, gay or not interested.  I don’t agree with that.  There ARE good men out there; however some women need to stop lying to themselves.  Nothing is changing because some women are accepting laziness, rudeness and disrespect.  Until there is some accountability, things will only continue to get worse.   

Where Is The Benefit In Friends With Benefits?!

Prelude: This short and sweet gem is an OLD Facebook note that I found.  I wanted to share it with you guys because I am currently researching my next post and working out the kinks with that one.  Hope you enjoy!

Once again, talking with a good friend and we got on the subject of being friends with benefits. This guy wants to be friends with benefits with her, but he can't seem to get over some of the previous girls in his life.

I started thinking...

Sex Too Soon: Ain't No Telling What We Could Have Been...

When you put the cart before the horse,
you don't get very far!

Our society has gone from anticipating a kiss at the end of a first date to having an escape plan for the morning after!  Even with all the looming consequences, many people are rushing into sexual relationships with strangers without reading the fine print.  This “faster than a speeding bullet” mentality is resulting in one night stands, failed relationships and never-ending searches for the next big thing.  It is also decreasing the levels of respect we have for ourselves and each other and changing the rules of dating and intimacy.  Some couples are successful despite how early they had sex, but let’s not lose sight of the big picture.  What may seem like a minor impulsive choice can result in major permanent damage.  Marriages are failing and couples are breaking up faster than R&B groups nowadays.  STI’s are on the rise.  Children are being born into single family households.  Relationships are burdened with trust, insecurity and jealousy issues.  I believe our impulses have a lot to do with it.   So I pose this question… In this fast and furious world, does slow and steady still win the race?

Do I Need To Whip Out A Friend Contract?!

  

I have always said that I would rather see the knife coming than have to pull it out of my back.    I’ve also said that the people you love and care about can hurt you most.  Some friendship crimes are so heinous that they require immediate attention.  I recently found out that a long-time friend of mine was communicating with my ex-boyfriend.  About what, I don’t particularly know.  For how long, I can’t say.  However the content of their conversation was not my issue.  The principle of them communicating at all was the actual problem.  We have had our problems in the past, but this was the breaking point for me.  Even after years of knowing each other, our unspoken rules suddenly meant nothing.  I addressed both parties because I’m a fair girl J, but my girlfriend got the higher sentence.  Real friends know your boundaries and don’t cross them.  I don’t feel the need to reach out to any of my friends’ past or present men and I expect the same respect.  As with any relationship, the main things I require are consistency, honesty and loyalty.  Without the three, there is enough reasonable doubt to convict and dismiss! 


Contracts are for business;
not for friendship!



Facebook: The Modern Day Background Check…

  

When it is ok to accept?

What is on my mind at the current moment, where I like to vacation, that embarrassing picture from college, how I feel about my favorite television show, where I work, who my closest friends are, my goals for the future, my birthday, my relationship status, my general location in the world and what I like to do with my time.  All of these things should be released over time in a new relationship, but who does that anymore?!  With the acceptance of a “friend” request, the average Joe can have all this information and more from a little site called Facebook.  No detective’s license needed!  I’ve certainly been the willing victim of a Facebook stalker or two.  You add someone and suddenly they become the guru on everything that is you!  They are constantly commenting on your status updates, pictures and posts.  You may hop onto the site to make a quick update and you are suddenly trapped in an unwanted chat conversation!  You could block them, but the damage has already been done!  Plus you may feel the need to explain your choice of deleting them!  Crazy stuff!  Being an old fashioned single girl living in this technological world is a little tricky.  When is it ok to allow someone you just met access to your Facebook page? 

To Give Or Not To Give?...That Is The Question!

"We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers." 

~Seneca

With Christmas less than a week away, there are a lot of loose ends to tie up!  For many who are dating someone new, this may not include tying a bow on a gift.  I was very tempted to vent on the ignorance known as gift-giveaphobia, but then I put some thought into this topic.  Sometimes it can be tricky to know whether a gift is appropriate in the earlier stages of a relationship.  You don’t want to come across as crazy and get an extravagant and inappropriate gift.  You also don’t want to pull the old brush off/break up conveniently before the big day.  So what do you do?!  Well you know I’m going to tell you!   It doesn’t matter how long you have known someone, there are particular rules for men and women to follow in the spirit of gift giving etiquette.