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| When you put the cart before the horse, you don't get very far! |
Our society has gone from anticipating a kiss at the end of a first date to having an escape plan for the morning after! Even with all the looming consequences, many people are rushing into sexual relationships with strangers without reading the fine print. This “faster than a speeding bullet” mentality is resulting in one night stands, failed relationships and never-ending searches for the next big thing. It is also decreasing the levels of respect we have for ourselves and each other and changing the rules of dating and intimacy. Some couples are successful despite how early they had sex, but let’s not lose sight of the big picture. What may seem like a minor impulsive choice can result in major permanent damage. Marriages are failing and couples are breaking up faster than R&B groups nowadays. STI’s are on the rise. Children are being born into single family households. Relationships are burdened with trust, insecurity and jealousy issues. I believe our impulses have a lot to do with it. So I pose this question… In this fast and furious world, does slow and steady still win the race?
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| If you want something serious, sex is worth the wait. |
If you want any relationship to have a better chance of lasting, it makes perfect sense to build up to intimacy instead of chasing it first. It has always been my theory that there is a correlation between how soon you have sex with someone and the strength of that relationship. Some people are so psycho-sexually motivated that they never learn what they could have with a person outside of the bedroom. I could go on for days about people who are borderline promiscuous, struggling to find or hold on to love. The root of their issues stems from their inability to maintain some self-restraint. Before you start thinking I’m prudish, I am referring to people who use sex as a means of securing commitment. This is not for those who have made a rock star lifestyle out of bed-hopping and free love! The funny thing is even those people find themselves wishing they moved a little slower sometimes. Moving too fast can mean more than just missing out or losing it all. Here are some of the issues that follow catapulting into sex too soon:
1) LOSS OF RESPECT AND TRUST- Sex too soon can result in a loss of self respect, respect for your partner and the trust issues will soon follow. Leading to the next issue… 2) AN INCREASED ROSTER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS -When there is no more mystery and every level has been reached, the game is over. When a game is finished it is usually tossed aside for something else. If sex was a game, how many times have you been played and tossed aside? How confident are you in sharing that number?
3) STI’S- If you are moving too fast to discuss who you are, how could you ever discuss diseases? It’s better to be knowledgeable than infected. Learning doesn’t happen overnight.
4) UNPLANNED CHILDREN/SINGLE HOUSEHOLDS- Ever watched Maury?! All jokes aside, sex with strangers has and will continue to bring new life in this world. Don’t you think children deserve a better life than that?
5) NEVER KNOWING HOW GOOD LOVE COULD BE- Many claim it doesn’t matter, but what is sex without love? Even the best sex cannot make a person love you.
I’m not judging because almost everything around us promotes impulsive behavior and instant gratification. I could never tell anyone that there is a certain date or time after meeting someone that sex is ok. I can however say that pacing a relationship can expose unlimited rewards. Rewards that some people will never know because they aren’t patient. If you want a different result, you must change your approach. Why look back and guess what you could have been or had with someone? If you have any interest in a person, take the time to find out what you are really getting yourself into! Besides, sometimes it’s not enough to have a person scream your name. Honestly, it means nothing if they don’t know who you are.
I’m not judging because almost everything around us promotes impulsive behavior and instant gratification. I could never tell anyone that there is a certain date or time after meeting someone that sex is ok. I can however say that pacing a relationship can expose unlimited rewards. Rewards that some people will never know because they aren’t patient. If you want a different result, you must change your approach. Why look back and guess what you could have been or had with someone? If you have any interest in a person, take the time to find out what you are really getting yourself into! Besides, sometimes it’s not enough to have a person scream your name. Honestly, it means nothing if they don’t know who you are.
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