It's More Than The Thought That Counts!

You know it's bad
when you have to ask!

“It’s the thought that counts” is one of those phrases that just makes my blood boil! It’s an excellent example of the type of cliché mess that lets people off the hook for their lackluster attitude towards life. I recently received a “gift” that I honestly didn’t believe was for me. No Kanye, but everybody knows I’m a diva! My tastes are easy to pick up because they are what make me stand out. Needless to say, I was given a shot glass from someone who KNOWS I don’t drink like that. Of course I graciously accepted the gift and my face must have given it away that I wasn’t too crazy about it. So the dreaded phrase reared its ugly head, “It’s the thought that counts”. On the inside I was thinking, “Wow, you really didn’t think about me at all!” Not to come off as ungrateful, but when it comes to our intimate relationships with others, whether a friend or more, we should think about what really counts.

Since this week is all about relationships, I wanted to start slow and gradually build up to the heavy stuff. The topic of dismissing thought, effort and follow-through may seem insignificant, but with continuous actions of this nature a relationship will surely fail. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, you should make it your mission to learn who they are. How often have you expected a person to remember details about you when you couldn’t do the same for them? As my quote for the week says, we don’t have to become a person but, in order to love someone effectively you should take into account their individuality. Then take it a step further and build a relationship which acknowledges the person you chose to be with. It may take time to discover what combination of words and actions sooth a person, the intricate way in which they want to be loved or even which gift would capture their heart. However, love isn’t just about the thought. What really counts is the effort behind that thought.

So how exactly do we transform thoughts into meaningful and lasting efforts that will strengthen our relationships?

Don't think too much!
Put in the work to keep
it together!

1) Take the Time To Listen: We are blessed with two ears and one mouth. To avoid your one mouth from saying, “It’s the thought that counts” turn to your ears for some help! When you have conversations with your loved one, take the time to listen. People often reveal details about their personality through conversations. If you aren’t good with details, write them down! It may seem silly, but it will pay off when you impress your partner with what you “remembered”. They will not soon forget what you did for them.

2) Money Is NOT the Issue: You don’t have to spend a lot of money to be a hero or heroine in your relationship. The most memorable gifts are those entrenched in love and genuine interest. Some of the greatest gifts I have received over the years weren’t grand and costly, but they were from the heart with a beautiful touch of Eboni engrained.

3) Add Your Own Personal Touch: Chances are the person you are with respects your opinions about things. Don’t be afraid to inject some of your humor or personality into a gift or idea. Make whatever you do more about the person who is receiving it, but strategically place a few touches of yourself for them to remember you by.

Whether male or female, we all remember the negative things that people we love do to us.  It's not enough to explain why you didn't try your best.  If this continues, resentment and hostility will build.  This is what causes that inevitable fail I spoke on earlier in the post.  Now things happen and sometimes we are unable to do the things we want for someone.  That's life!  It doesn't mean that you give up and blame it on the thought being too big for your level of completion.  Come up with something else!  Utilize your resources and prove yourself worthy of someones care and dedication to you.  When you love someone, the extra effort will result in the both of you having a stronger relationship with memories you can treasure for however long you have together. 

When it comes to the
people you care about always
TRY HARDER! 
Life is short!

Make your relationship work by being more hands-on and involved with creating lasting memories. The last thing anybody wants is to look back on an event, outing, date or any other interaction and recall the negative aspects. Taking a thought and making it count requires work. If you don’t feel it’s important, then I recommend you reassess your relationship.  True love is kind after all!  So don’t let your thoughts be all that count. Put a little work behind them and see how happy you can be in any relationship!