To Give Or Not To Give?...That Is The Question!

"We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers." 

~Seneca

With Christmas less than a week away, there are a lot of loose ends to tie up!  For many who are dating someone new, this may not include tying a bow on a gift.  I was very tempted to vent on the ignorance known as gift-giveaphobia, but then I put some thought into this topic.  Sometimes it can be tricky to know whether a gift is appropriate in the earlier stages of a relationship.  You don’t want to come across as crazy and get an extravagant and inappropriate gift.  You also don’t want to pull the old brush off/break up conveniently before the big day.  So what do you do?!  Well you know I’m going to tell you!   It doesn’t matter how long you have known someone, there are particular rules for men and women to follow in the spirit of gift giving etiquette.

MEN: Before you get that brush off/break up speech together and/or strap up your Nikes to run off, consider a few things.  If you are newly dating a woman, chances are you have taken her to dinner at least once.  The cost of an average dinner is about $55.  You don’t have to spend that much to show a young lady that you have class and can acknowledge her on a holiday.  The best gifts are those that show you have been listening.  If your fear is that she will attach too quick, give something thoughtful, but neutral.  A guy I was dating gave me a journal for Christmas because he knew I love to write.  I didn’t fall in love, but it was greatly appreciated.  That gift was considerate yet appropriate.  Speaking of appropriate also be careful of spending too much.  Relationships should have a natural progression that do not scare off the other person.  You can also get trapped in a higher standard that you may not be able to keep up next holiday! 

Bottom Line: For the men who think a gift will cause instant commitment, get over it…get something…and stop being scary!  For the men who think an expensive gift will seal the deal, get over yourself…get something appropriate…and stop being scary!

WOMEN: It can be difficult knowing what to get a man for the holidays.  Before you get into your independent, “I don’t do gifts” mode I want you to consider a few things.  There is nothing wrong with expressing your interest through a gift.  There is however something wrong with going overboard for a man who may or may not be in your life.  So keep it simple and heart-felt.  Also, give because you WANT to, not because you are expecting anything in return.  For both sexes, listening is something that can’t be compromised.  When an ex of mine and I started dating, he was always having trouble waking up in the morning.  I could have gone to Brookstone and purchased a top of the line alarm clock, but he was still on relationship probation!  Instead I opted for a $10 alarm clock that rolled around on the floor, forcing him to jump out of bed!  Not only did my wallet stay fat, but we had a few good laughs too.  Whatever you decide to get, make it memorable for him and cost effective for you!

Bottom Line: Don’t be a B****, get a simple gift!  Also give because you want to, not because you are expecting something in return.              

So hopefully you feel a little better about gift giving for your new love interest.  For both sexes, it’s important to remember that it’s not what you give, but the enthusiasm in how you give it.  Everybody in this world appreciates being acknowledged.  You don’t have to hide until the tree is taken down or empty your savings account!  Use your common sense, listening skills and home training (pretend if you didn’t get any!) to let the new person in your life know that you care.  So don’t let the New Year come in without your boo!  Give a thoughtful gift and see exactly what some concern can do for you!  If you still don’t know what to get check out this website that can help…Gift Guide for Couples



It means a lot to put in thought!