When Good Just Isn't Good Enough

Will the curtain close on our
friendship?

I'm a fan of a good play.  Watching a story unfold on stage and never quite knowing what is going to happen.  Relating to a charater based on the situation they are connected with.  Wondering what's going on behind the scenes when the curtain falls.  Anticipating what will happen when they go back up.  Good times!  My life has always been a stage.  Various colorful characters, vivid and captivating scenes, drenched with drama, and a surprise around every corner.  Many scenes in my life have ended without my knowledge and I was left standing solo on stage.  There is this one particular scene though that is in constant transition.  One that has soothed me when I was worried.  One that has confused me beyond belief.  One that has hurt me more than any other.  I'm left to wonder how this situation will play out. 

Carrying on with the "Lies, Secrets, and Betrayal" week, I found it only appropriate to talk about a friend/love-ship that I have with someone.  We have had our share of arguments, betrayal, lies, and secrets.  Every time we have worked it out and bounced back stronger, but I'm getting to a point where I don't think I can do it anymore.  I've recently dealt with and tolerated the latest betrayal, almost foolishly.  Now I'm faced with deciding if this entire relationship is worth holding on to.  As much as I love them, they have put me in a box that is confining and borderline demeaning considering the type of woman I am.  It leads me to think of a saying my mom instilled in me...

"Baby, sometimes good just ISN'T good enough."

So when you don't know what to do, what do you do?  It's always harder when you love someone unconditionally.  You find yourself sticking around despite the qualms in your past.  I honestly don't remember every fight, but the residual effects from each have built up and created a block.  This same block is creating an invisible rift between us that I fight to conquer every day.  I don't know about you, but I'm tired of always being the bigger person.  The one to make the difficult phone calls, initiate the uncomfortable conversations, and ultimately decide the fate of a relationship on your own.  I've known this person for many years and with all the changes we have went through, I know they have done their part in fixing what they destroyed.  Our relationship is like a bridge that keeps sparking up at the corners, but never quite burns down.  Eventually, I'm worried that the fire is going to catch and we will be separated for more than a few weeks or months.  We will be over and our friendship will disintegrate into oblivion.

I don't want to leave, but
a part of me needs to know
the nearest exit just in case!

For right now, I'm taking my time to weigh my options.  As much as we have done for each other, I know there is something missing.  For once, we may not be able to talk this one out.  My love will always be there, but like I said in a previous post, "You can love someone, but that has nothing to do with whether they are in your life."  Since my life is a stage and this scene is kicking my butt, I'm really considering gracefully exiting stage left.  It may be a rash decision, but after all this stress, a girl could really use an intermission!  Ta-ta for now and hopefully I will get my life together my loves! 

Three Letter Word With Unlimited Possibilities!

We have all done it at least once.  Sometimes they are white, according to Shakira and B the people who do it can be beautiful, some call them little or harmless.  Whatever you put in front of it, a lie is still a lie.  The formulation of a lie can destroy, betray, upset, cover up, enhance, or excite the person who receives it.  All lies are capable of snowballing out of control and in some cases can result in deadly consequences.  If there is one thing I can't put my stamp of approval on in any relationship, it is dishonesty.  For all those reading this, if you ever want to get rid of me simply lie to me!  Works every time!  Now before I go any further, I don't want to be misconstrued as a perfect specimen.  I'm definitely not.  However, we all have our no-nos when it comes to what is acceptable in our lives.  Lying happens to be one of mine.  So what exactly is a lie?

 

According to http://www.dictionary.com/, the first definition of lie is "a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood."  If I may add my own twist, I believe that a lie can also come in the form of a half truth.  Something I like to describe as telling "half truths and whole lies".  If you have ever been lied to, I'm sure you either knew for a fact it was a lie or you felt in your spirit that the story was off.  Being deceived is a hard thing to swallow.  It's true that the people you love hurt you the most.  This week, I will be going in depth with different relationships and how lies have affected them.  For me, I have been at the receiving end of a lie one too many times.  I happen to know a few liars and they all make the same mistakes.  Look out for these characteristics if you have trouble spotting a liar:

Too bad when people lie, THEIR nose
doesn't grow!

1) They tend to talk around a subject.  You can ask them a direct question and they will never give you a direct answer.

 

2) They talk way too much about irrelevant information with bits and pieces of incriminating evidence scattered throughout.

 

3) They insist on making you believe what they are saying is true or they either get defensive because they know it's not true.

 

There is no reason why I should know all this, but I do.  Life has a way of showing you what you need to see at the precise time you need to see it.  I have a no tolerance policy towards liars because it's a habit that becomes addictive and challenging.  If a person has ever lied to you and you caught them, they will often find a way to tailor and strengthen the next lie they tell.  Like most sins, lying is attractive, fun, and detrimental to relationships.  If you can't be honest with the ones you love, then who can you be honest with?

 

Tomorrow I will be covering an  epidemic that is sweeping the world; lies and std's.  It saddens me to think of what these lies are doing to families and individuals.  

 

So, keep up with me this week and let some things sink in.  If you've ever been lied to, forgive the person anyway.  Forgiveness has and always will be a comfort to the person that gives it.  If you find yourself wanting to tell a lie, think about the repercussions it could have.  Think about all the work it could create for you in the long run.  Lying is a habit that CAN be broken.  Besides, you would be surprised the freedom and peace that honesty can bring you.  Until tomorrow my loves!