RIP Daddy

Daddy and Me; Christmas '88

FEBRUARY 19, 2010

I will never forget that day for as long as I live.  This was the day that I lost my father and gained a new sense of appreciation for my life and relationships.  I miss him so much.  I haven't cried in a few weeks, but writing this brings forth a fresh set of tears.  I still can't listen to Marvin Gaye or the Isley Brothers without remembering his husky voice, his strong silent personality, and his bold laugh that always caught you off guard!  I remember the day so vividly that I heard of his passing.  Honestly, I knew something was wrong about that day from the minute I woke up:

So I'm in the shower listening to the morning show and singing, "Daddy's Home" right along with Usher.  Suddenly I was alarmed by the sound of keys jingling right outside the bathroom door.  It wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that I'm alone in the house that time of the morning.  Frozen in a state of uncomfortable confusion, I quickly left the shower, grabbed a screwdriver and perused the house. 

Nobody was there, or so I thought.

Ending up in the kitchen, I noticed a strange glow that illuminated the dimly lit kitchen.  I asked God to protect me and ease my growing fear.  Something made me lay down and the minute I closed my eyes, I heard the keys jingling again.  Jumping up, I continued to get dressed for work and rushed to the front door once I was done.  I had to get out of that house.  Something was there regardless of whether the naked eye could identify it.  I ran to the front door, swung it open and BAM...

This strange older lady was standing there and she scared the hell out of me!  I grabbed my chest and released the breath I didn't know I was holding.  She was going to the 2nd floor, but she said something that I considered very weird...

"You are gonna be fine baby.  Everything is gonna be just fine."

I brushed past her and received a call minutes later with the news that my father was gone.

There is no person on the face of this earth that can tell me my father wasn't in the house with me that morning.  God is real and His presence through others is such a powerful thing.  He also worked through that woman who shared her comforting message with me.  I thank Him everyday for allowing my father to come to me that morning and let me know his soul is at rest.

All of my friends tell me how strong I was through everything.  I know that strength came from knowing that regardless of the life my father may have lived on this earth, he is protected in the palm of God's hands now.  Just like the lady said, everything is just fine.  It still hurts sometimes, but then I think about the relationship we had.  I loved him so much.  He taught me he taught me how to be confident, how to drive, how to live for yourself and never care about the outcome, he taught me how to love. He taught me that life is worth living.

I didn't get a chance to mentally prepare for his death.  Everything happened in the span of a week and a half.  I have learned that time is not promised and anything worth saying is worth saying that day.  Don't wait.  You may never get the chance to have their reaction, their opinion, their presence, their love.

Thanks Daddy for all you have given me and I promise to make you proud by living an exemplary life.