Do I Need To Whip Out A Friend Contract?!

  

I have always said that I would rather see the knife coming than have to pull it out of my back.    I’ve also said that the people you love and care about can hurt you most.  Some friendship crimes are so heinous that they require immediate attention.  I recently found out that a long-time friend of mine was communicating with my ex-boyfriend.  About what, I don’t particularly know.  For how long, I can’t say.  However the content of their conversation was not my issue.  The principle of them communicating at all was the actual problem.  We have had our problems in the past, but this was the breaking point for me.  Even after years of knowing each other, our unspoken rules suddenly meant nothing.  I addressed both parties because I’m a fair girl J, but my girlfriend got the higher sentence.  Real friends know your boundaries and don’t cross them.  I don’t feel the need to reach out to any of my friends’ past or present men and I expect the same respect.  As with any relationship, the main things I require are consistency, honesty and loyalty.  Without the three, there is enough reasonable doubt to convict and dismiss! 


Contracts are for business;
not for friendship!



Living Breathing Pincushions: Self Respect and Sex

Allowing yourself to be pierced
by the world can lead to lasting
damage.

When I was in college, I devised a theory I like to call the “Pincushion Theory”.  I used to sew and I noticed that before a pincushion is used, it has certain solidity to it.  When you introduce a needle, it is never the same.  The needle that punctures it goes unscathed and unharmed, but after some time if you stick a pincushion enough it begins to wear down.  Covered in holes, it loses its solidity.  These permanent holes leave a lasting mark that can never be repaired.  You can cover a pincushion with another piece of fabric, but underneath it will still suffer the damage of the initial uses.  It will also be full of voids that can only be filled by another needle.  A lot of women are living, breathing, worn down pincushions.  They have allowed the needles of the world access to their bodies, minds and spirits.   Thandie Newton’s character is the epitome of a pincushion.  Lost in the thrill and emptiness of sex with strangers, she had convinced herself that her infatuation with sex was an empowerment tactic.  She was invincible under this belief.  There is one problem with that though…A pincushion can not hurt a needle.  A needle can leave a lasting impression on a pincushion.

Don't Get Lost Down Memory Lane!

“No matter what I do/All I think about is you/Even when I’m with my boo/Boy you know I’m crazy over you.”

("Dillema" Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland; 2002)



Think twice before
you turn around!
The past is there
for a reason!



It’s catchy in a song, but honestly people this is not cute!  How often have you found yourself thinking about another person while in a relationship?  To get to my point, how often has this other person been someone from your past?  The past has a way of catching up with us, tapping our shoulder and beckoning us back to its tightening grip.  I’ve been guilty of following its lead and getting trapped in its comfortable confinement; even at the expense of a relationship.  I know, I know!  Simply deplorable, but I’m not the only one!  As humans, we crave attention and despise the idea of being alone.  Even the people who CLAIM they don’t need anybody to make them happy find themselves trapped under years of memories, surrounded by house-cats, or inundated by material things.  I digress!  Back to my original sentiments for the day, the past will always be tempting.  When we find that our current relationship is getting a little lackluster, this is the place we usually go in our minds, our hearts and sometimes our body parts join in! SMH! We must realize that the past is there for a reason.  It should not be a place we frequent when the going gets tough.  Read on to find out why the past is behind us, what we should do before getting into a new relationship and how we can use our past to shape our present and future.