Love & Enjoy Yourself!...Don't Wait for Anyone Else!

Even when surrounded
by others you can feel
alone.  Find your inner
peace and happiness
to combat that sinking
feeling!

Have you ever seen a movie where a single, lonely person is standing forlorn in the rain watching a happy couple eat dinner through a glass window?  I always wondered why that person never dried off, went inside and got a table for themselves!  We have been taught that operating as a single unit is a negative thing.  At early ages we are pushed into little groups in school.  We are told to pick a partner for projects.  We buddy up for trips.  It doesn’t change as adults.  Often our jobs put us on teams.  The media usually pairs three or more people as a group of friends.  People who are loners or less sociable are considered strange.  Dinner tables are usually set for two or more.  For many places, you need a group to get a discount.  Basically, being a single unit is seen as problematic or drenched in loneliness.  I firmly disagree with this coupled up and grouped out philosophy.  It is true that no man is an island, but every person should be familiar with their own inner peace.  You don’t always need another person to enjoy your life or help you discover who you are.

Couldn't have said
it any better!

Last night, I was ready to meet someone new and embark on our first date.  Unfortunately, he was unable to go.  After coming home from work and realizing that I had watched everything on my DVR, I decided I would do something I had not done in a while.  I would take myself on a date.  My solo dates in the past have been purpose-driven.  Either I was going to find someone or I was seeking solace from everyone.  My purpose-driven dates would ALWAYS work, thus keeping me in the game for another round!  Not this time!  I planned a fabulous and glamorous date in which I enjoyed myself.  There would be no hunting, no pretenses, no going crazy over how I looked, no worrying about how they looked, no dreading the location of the date or rushing to avoid being late!  My inner cynic tried to stop me twice, but I had my mind made up.  I picked out a great outfit, got glammed up and went to a fabulous Italian restaurant…BY MYSELF! 

If you can have it with yourself, you can have it with
someone else!

My hostess naturally assumed that I was waiting for someone and left a second glass of water on the table.  I politely asked her to take it away because this was a party for one!  My waiter struck up pleasant conversations with me about relationships, standards and independence.  I jotted notes in my book and enjoyed a delectable meal with a strong and sweet drink.  There was nobody there to critique me, no conversations to force myself through, no haste to get dinner over with and no wondering about how the date would unfold.  There was also no worrying about who was looking!  It felt good!  I went to an open mic night after dinner and enjoyed the poets.  I drove home blasting music and singing along.  I made it in home with enough “pamper E” time to ease into bed feeling like a queen!  After my glorious time, I gained new insight and motivation into what makes Eboni tick. 



It's the best thing
you can do!



After a year of fruitless dating with reasonably decent strangers, I rediscovered the value (and peace) of my own company last night.  I also realized that regardless if I go another year and a half or five years, I will enjoy my life regardless of who joins me.  So many people complain that they can’t find someone who will love them or appreciate them.  I wonder if these people love and appreciate themselves.  You can’t expect somebody to enjoy your company if you get uneasy with the thought of being alone.   You can’t demand love from someone when you don’t even love yourself.  I’m an only child so I possess a natural disposition to enjoy my own company.  Regardless of your birth order, I recommend that you find out what makes you happy…ALONE!  There is nothing better than loving who you are, what you offer and how great you can be without the validation of someone else.  So the next time things don’t pan out and you find yourself twiddling your thumbs, get up…get out…and get discovering!  Learn to love yourself and know that the RIGHT person will acknowledge and appreciate you when the time is right!