~Mary Engelbreit
Breaking up sucks! It hurts and takes a lot out of you. However, if it's a situation that you can't change, you have to make a decision. Think back to a break-up or brush off you may have experienced and the person you transformed into after it. Did you thrive or did you wither? Did you pick up the pieces of your heart and build it stronger or did you become bitter and punish the world for losing a relationship? Our attitude is what makes the difference.
So I'm going to get a little personal tonight. (Just so you know, I'm cringing at the thought of this! :-)) Being the Scorpio I am, I'm usually a tough cookie to crack. Not to be conceited, but men usually fall for me first. Then the unusual happened. Last year, I met a guy who I fell hard for faster than usual. The crazy part was, he seemed to fall for me too. We spent a lot of time together, talked about everything under the sun, laughed about the stupidest things, shared our goals and dreams, and reached levels I have barely seen in other relationships. It seemed kismet; almost unreal that five months out of a nightmare of a relationship(another post for another day!), I had come across someone who seemed so perfect for me. I drove everybody crazy talking about him, began to daydream about the future, lost myself in everything that was him. Then things started to change...
I wrote this in my journal the day I started to realize we weren't going to be continuing the pattern we started:
"I don't want to have to second guess his feelings for me. He is just so abstract and I feel like I'm on pins and needles waiting to see how this plays out. I have never felt this way about anyone and I just don't want this all to be a mistake."
So needless to say, things went sour between us. We dissolved as quickly as we started. To this day, I still don't know what went wrong. Honestly, it no longer matters. What does matter is there was no mistake made! After I FINALLY realized that I don't regret our time together, it hit me that he probably did me a favor. Sometimes we don't understand why people walk away from us. Sometimes it's not for us to understand. We have to learn how to appreciate the journey we take with certain people in our lives. If we don't make it to the destination we set for the journey, we STILL made a trip.
There are a lot of benefits to breaking up. For one you get a fresh start to be better. You get a chance to enjoy a different version of life that offers you endless possibilities and new beginnings. Secondly, you can discover what it is you DON'T want and what you want more of! This is something a lot of us don't know until AFTER something ends. Third, an ending may be exactly what we need to realize how much we are loved by the other people in our lives. Intimate relationships can be damaging to our other relationships; especially when they weren't right to being with. Lastly, you get a chance to grow and open yourself up to a better relationship with the new found lessons you learned from the break-up. Loosening your grip on the past allows you to get a better grasp on your future.
After a break-up, I welcome my down time. Not saying it's an easy transition, but it's a character-building experience. I reflect on my part in what went wrong and what my ex did also. After I've taken my time to regroup, I write down everything I learned from that experience. My lessons travel to my next relationship seamlessly and they actually play a factor in the next person that I choose to be with. With this past relationship, I realized that some situations will be unclear. You may always hold a person in your heart, but that has nothing to do with them being in your life. Let time heal you and reveal what you need to see. The ex may end up being a better friend. You never know!
I will end in this: We will fall in love and we will fall out of love. If someone wants to walk away, let them. It's your choice if you will still be there when, and if, they return.
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