Makes E Wanna Holler!: Break-Up Chumps...

Break-ups are normal.
Running away from them
is NOT!

What is it about breaking up with someone that makes us cringe?  Could it be the knowledge of hurting someone you once cared for?  Could it be the fear of how the person will take it?  Regardless of the outcome, breaking up is never easy for either person.  Maybe that's why people have resorted to the easy way out: the one-sided break-up.  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about!  The break-up where the dumper leaves like a thief in the night and never looks back.  Suddenly the dumpee is left wondering what happened and why the other person disappeared without so much as a last goodbye.  In the past, I've been both the dumper and the dumpee and neither is a good position.  Dealing with a break-up is hard enough without being left behind with no answers or sense of closure.  

Growing up, I was a huge fan of soul music thanks to my dad.  One of my favorite songs was "Let's Just Kiss And Say Goodbye" by the Manhattans.  (If you have never heard the song, follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj96QFzOL5Y) In the song, a guy meets with the girl he has been seeing to break-up with her.  Although the song is sad, there are a lot of good points to consider:

1) The guy had enough respect to meet the girl in person:  This may seem small, but it is a simple thing to do for someone you cared about.  Unless you are dealing with a completely psychotic person, there is no reason why you can't speak with them face-to-face.  Most break-up chumps also use technology to avoid the awkwardness of interacting with their future ex.  Regardless of what anyone may say, a break-up via text, e-mail, BBM, FaceBook/MySpace message, etc is NOT OK!  Man/Woman Up!

2) The guy changed his mind, but communicated his sentiments:  When it comes to relationships, things happen!  Even with the most committed of couples, problems can arise that change the dynamic.  I'm a fan of communication and honesty.  There is nothing wrong with changing your mind when it comes to another person, but at least have the common decency to TELL them!  Like my sister says, "It's the most remedial step you can take."



Even though you can figure it out,
closure makes the picture
complete.

3) The dumper gave himself and the girl a chance to get closure:  It goes without saying that breaking up is hard, but both people should be able to gain a sense of completion.  Despite the pain, both people should be able to say goodbye.  It hurts during and after, but answers can provide a sense of peace more than being left behind to figure it out alone.  My theory with this is if you start something together, at least end it together.

Even though I covered breaking up in the sense of a committed relationship, brush-offs are also under this umbrella.  Nobody likes to feel neglected or confused regardless of what type of relationship you are walking away from.  Regardless of the reason that you lost interest, communication is crucial.  You never know if what you have to say can assist the other person or be a misunderstanding that can be fixed.  People often say that honesty is the best policy and in this case, I definitely agree.  It saves everyone involved time and energy.  It also clears the path for new relationships with better communication.

So don't be a break-up/brush off chump!  You owe it to yourself and the other person to be real.  The world may have a psychic or two, but expecting a person to read a mind that they thought they knew is impossible.  The most rewarding things in life are not always easy, but they are more than worth it.  When you take the time to communicate your feelings about your relationship, you never know what could come of it.  You may end up with a friend or even just the peace of mind in knowing that you didn't leave behind a confused person in your wake.  So whether you are thinking of leaving someone behind or you are already half-way down the street, communicate and don't be a chump!

Love the Break-Up chat?!  Visit one of my more popular posts: "The Benefit in Breaking Up" http://mochafoxx.blogspot.com/2010/08/benefit-in-breaking-up.html