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| When it is ok to accept? |
What is on my mind at the current moment, where I like to vacation, that embarrassing picture from college, how I feel about my favorite television show, where I work, who my closest friends are, my goals for the future, my birthday, my relationship status, my general location in the world and what I like to do with my time. All of these things should be released over time in a new relationship, but who does that anymore?! With the acceptance of a “friend” request, the average Joe can have all this information and more from a little site called Facebook. No detective’s license needed! I’ve certainly been the willing victim of a Facebook stalker or two. You add someone and suddenly they become the guru on everything that is you! They are constantly commenting on your status updates, pictures and posts. You may hop onto the site to make a quick update and you are suddenly trapped in an unwanted chat conversation! You could block them, but the damage has already been done! Plus you may feel the need to explain your choice of deleting them! Crazy stuff! Being an old fashioned single girl living in this technological world is a little tricky. When is it ok to allow someone you just met access to your Facebook page?
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| There are no secrets when you play with the cards up! |
This topic has been burning a hole in my brain since a guy I met two days ago suggested that we befriend each other. Thank God he couldn’t see my face because I was stuck on stupid! I didn’t want to seem mean and just say no, but I also didn’t want to allow this stranger the ability to know almost EVERYTHING about me without having to do any work. When you give full access up front, there is no progression and you lose out on the fun of getting to know someone. Yes, I know that with a few clicks of the mouse and some basic information, the internet can tell all your secrets. When it comes to Facebook though, we are dealing with information that you personally offer to the world. I’ve never been a fan of playing cards with the faces up! So instead of blatantly saying no to my mystery man, I opted for the classier response…”I would prefer to go out a few times before we become Facebook friends.” That’s only fair and it makes for a more interesting and sincere courtship. Besides, I think that friendships/relationships should be built outside of the parameters of a social networking site!
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| Stop being a laptop potato! If you want to get to know someone, do it with them present! |
Before the introduction of friend requests and life based websites, people had to figure it out! A lot less time was wasted because the options weren’t limitless. People were forced to get to know someone for who they were, not their current status or that picture that shows off a person’s good side! Anybody can spend a few minutes perusing a page and picking up bits and pieces of information, but it takes genuine interest and work to get to know someone. Maybe it’s just me, but I already feel that relationships are hard to build because nobody has to work anymore. Regular conversations have been replaced with texting, e-mails, BBM’s, tweets and all other forms of internet monologue and dialogue. You can’t always know the motives of an action or feel the emotion behind a message made through technology. I’m personally a little tired of the laziness! I think it’s time we put down the mouse and pick up the phone! Better yet, invite people out to spend time face to face!
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| You never know where you can end up taking the shortcuts! |
Someone that wants to get to know you shouldn’t feel the need to take shortcuts. Those that do take the easy way out are whipping up a recipe for lazy behavior that can only continue. Don’t get me wrong, sharing your life through Facebook can be cool, but this type of access too soon can lead to unacceptable behavior resulting in negative backlash. God forbid things go sour in a newly forming relationship and a person can bury you! We should be careful who we accept as a “friend” because sometimes it’s more than just an increased number on your roster. Taking the time to see who a person really is can save a lot of trouble in the long run. Not everybody is crazy, but do you really want to find out AFTER they have downloaded your pictures, marked down your friends and family, learned your habits and did it all legally! I thought not! So before you hit that “ACCEPT” button, consider these things:
1) A real friend doesn’t need to send a request for access to your life.
2) The motives of a stranger are unknown until further notice. Notice who a person is FIRST!
3) You are a person, not an account. Someone that wants to know you will make the time, use the energy and take you seriously.
4) Remember that embarrassing picture?! Some things are better left for later!
Be safe out there and know that you have control over what and who you choose to let into your life!
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