Are You Fighting A Battle By Yourself?!

(A Facebook note that I wrote one day when I was tired of fighting for nothing!)

(*Pic courtesy of http://www.militaryimages.net/)
Look around...If you are fighting alone
rethink your strategy!

Earlier this year, I found myself in full armor, fighting in the middle of a mine-ridden battlefield.  Every step I took was a potential disaster; every move I made was premeditated and time-consuming, and every two steps I made, I was thrown back six.  No, I wasn’t overseas and I’ve never been trained as a soldier!  This was a battle of love, one of lust, one where I ended up fighting for someone who wasn’t fighting for me.  I stopped making so much noise and that’s when I realized there was silence all around me.  It’s a hurtful situation when you realize that all the work you’ve put in the trenches never made a difference in who won or lost.  This week’s topic is picking your battles wisely and knowing when you are fighting a worthless battle.

I’ve always been the type of girl that fights for what I want.  Not physically because according to neo-soul singer Jill Scott, “Queens don’t swing, if you know what I mean”!  However, I believe in fighting for my relationships if they mean something to me.  This trait is a gift and a curse.  Let me break this down on what fighting for a relationship can result in:

The Best Gift: Winning a rewarding and fulfilling relationship that ends up more resilient than when you started. 

The Runner up Gift:  Losing a relationship, but learning a valuable lifelong lesson about what doesn’t always work in the battle of life. 

The Curse: Being led into a war that seemingly has no ending and nobody plays fair.  Everyone loses in the end and your fighting took everything you had.   

Usually we THINK we want a person in our lives.  This is before finding out who they really are.  Some people have a way of infiltrating your spirit and making you their minion.  Foolishly thinking, we suit up in the pursuit of obtaining someone.  It is no longer about our needs, but more a top priority mission to conquer this person.  Unfortunately, making a war priority can result in the downfall of everything else in your life.  Don’t believe me?  Look at our current economy!  How many times have you deemed someone worthy of all your time, your best, and your precious positive energy only to find that they were sucking you dry?  Add to that the number of people you have done this for and you are probably depleted of the ability to fight anymore.   

I’ve watched people that I love fight pointless battles and come out emotionally battered, bloody, and broken.  Every time, I would come to their rescue, help mend their wounds and provide PTRD (Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder) services.  When it came to my situation earlier this year, I reached a peak where enough was enough.  I was carrying around a burden that was way too heavy for my delicate frame!  After prayer and some serious one on one talks with my Father, I discovered this was not a battle I was intended to fight.  Some things are better left unsaid before you become unraveled and ultimately undone.  It’s been my experience that usually the person in question will come back with their next war plan and you will be completely restored and uninterested in shipping off to participate in yet another fruitless war.

All I’m saying is its ok to remove the protective shield, put down your weapons, retreat to your quarters, and review your plan a little more carefully.  Don’t take too long to figure it out though!  This is one of those situations that takes quick, yet cautiously thought out methods.  Then ask yourself, is the fight worth the effort?  If not, have no shame in waving the white flag and walking away.  In some situations it’s the only way to be “at ease”!