(New Material! I had to do it because people have officially lost their minds around here!)
I didn’t need to look behind me to realize I was being chased by a large group of unknown things. They were in the shape of people, but my instinct was telling me there was something demonic about their presence. Gnashing at my ability to outrun them, they continued to torment me. I heard familiar voices, but denied their origin out of disbelief. Surrounded on every side except for the clear path ahead of me leading to a cliff, I ran for my life. Sweat was pouring from my head, my heart was pounding and I was nervous that my legs would give out running toward this sharp, eminent cliff. Either option seemed to lead to death for me. I wasn’t sure what type of death awaited me, whether physical or emotional but I dreaded both. Within inches from the cliff, I lost every ounce of energy I had and collapsed. I tightly clenched my eyes, but could still feel their presence. Darkness clouded around me and I opened my eyes to realize the same creatures that were chasing me were people I knew very well. At this moment I woke up to this reality: Sometimes, the people we know can be our worst nightmare.
Why have we been taught to fear strangers when the people we love and know can be the real monsters and beasts? I guess it shouldn’t be so shocking because the people who know you also know your weaknesses, shortcomings and fears. Who better to be in a position to terrorize and hurt you? Maybe it’s just me, but I have always believed in the goodness of the people I care about. Call me naive, but I don’t want to believe the people who care would also be the people to hurt. As of lately, I have seen that my reasoning can be a little faulty. Between myself and the people I love, there have been quite a few monster sightings and attacks. It can really hurt when you come to the realization that your modern day monsters are NOT strangers. We have to learn how to decode who is really there for you and who is waiting in the wings to jump out and scare/disappoint you. Here are some of the tools I use to separate the demonic forces from the angelic ones:
Has this person been there when you REALLY needed them?- I recently learned a shocking and disappointing lesson concerning money from a person I have always cared about. Needless to say, I was used and disregarded once they got what they wanted. Thinking back to my difficult time, they were usually late or nowhere to be found. If you have to question whether a friend/other will be there when it counts then chances are you have a beast in your presence!
How does this person treat other people in their lives?- If you have seen a loved one attack someone else, you have to be cautious. We often misconstrue the intentions of others because we fail to review their constant behavior. Just because a person treats you well for a certain period of time, doesn’t mean that they will keep that going. Habits are hard to break and usually the consistent patterns that people show are who they really are. Don’t wait around for them to attack you!
Do they intentionally or unintentionally throw things in your face?- It’s great when someone keeps details about you handy, but what about when they use details to demean? A real friend will know your deepest, darkest secrets and never bring them into the light. If you have to worry about your info resurfacing with someone you love, it’s perfectly normal to question their role in your life. It’s also normal to kill the beast (well not literally)!
Do they question your goals or put down your success?- There is a major difference between constructive criticism and plain rudeness/hate! You can tell when someone you care about isn’t supporting you. Their facial expressions, tone and overall attitude can emanate negative energy. We fall prey to this energy at times and fail to reach our goals following the advice of others. Don’t put up with it because the non-monsters in your life are your true support system.
Have you been the bearer of all their different moods?- It’s great to know a person inside out. However, this amount of knowledge should have nothing to do with coping with mood swings. I don’t accept people treating me cold one minute and hot the next. Positive consistency is what we all deserve. You wouldn’t let a stranger treat you badly, so don’t accept it from a loved one!
So after the dream, life situations and meditation on the topic I came up with this: Don’t confuse the length of time a person has been around for a solid and encouraging relationship. Our lives are like gardens and in order to thrive and grow, we have to do some people pruning from time to time. Just because you care for someone doesn’t mean you can’t let them go. As a matter of fact, sometimes this is the only way to get the peace and happiness you deserve. It’s not for the “monster” to understand why you ended things, but some issues don’t resolve themselves. Think about the people you care about…If they don’t reciprocate the same respect, love and devotion that you give consider speaking with them. If talking doesn’t work, release them from your life and see what angels you are suddenly blessed with.
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